I remember the day I realized I would be never be enough That no matter how loud I loved you That you would never love me as I did you That I could never convince you to love me More than you would love yourself That this awkward sometimes quiet but always big love was worth the time

Still I tried I kept loving loud breaking off small pieces of myself to try and be right for you Eventually I was nothing like who I was before and still was not for you Some days I can't remember who I was before I don't remember my laugh or how it feels to be happy I remember thinking maybe i missed something and wasn't enough That it was my fault you would never love me loudly

Somewhere I stopped loving the electric feeling of being alive it became more about punishing myself If I was different If I could show you If I was more patient or took an extra second to breathe If I didn't let your words mean so much Somewhere it became a violent dance of losing myself

I remember the day I realized I would never be enough But I don't remember when I gave up on everything else